I will bite your torso and give you a disease

Morning Frazzled Followers, I wrote this two months ago and never posted it…and while I AM actually working on something new, it’s Monday. I had a good weekend. I’m busy at work. It’s too early to proofread. And I’m a slacker. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, just means I love me some me more. And we’re all OK with that…because…awesome. This is a long one, really two posts in one. And it’s got that personal “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?” factor that we emotional cannibals love to feed on (my stats don’t lie…you like it when I bleed. I don’t blame you.) so I don’t feel bad about giving you this to chew on while I earn some money doing enough science-y crap to pay for next week’s pizza and fruity wine selection 😘

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For the past few weeks I’ve been getting invites to see the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, when it opens in December. In the spirit of brevity (AHAHAHA! As IF!!) I will refrain from explaining why this movie release is a big deal. Four minutes on Google will net you much more concise explanations from people more qualified than I. Seriously, if you really don’t know why this movie release is an epic event, Google That Shit. It’s kind of a big deal.

My friends and family know how I feel about Star Wars and the release of this movie. Thanks to social media, they have been subjected to published “XXX days until Star Wars Episode VII Opens!” for well over a year and every Star Wars related meme that’s come down the pike. My Facebook news feed has been filled with cool and funny Star Wars finds from everyone I know with “This made me think of you!” and I absolutely love it! Suffice it to say people who know me know I’m a fan.

The movie release is four months two months away. And the buzz is building getting intense. I’ve been asked to go see it by multiple friends and new acquaintances. More than a few people have expressly asked to sit beside me and witness my first time experience (seriously? There was less clamoring for my virginity…and I guarded that! But whatever, Jerks.) To some, seeing the movie with me is a big deal and to others it’s a matter of knowing how excited I am to go and wanting to share in my happiness.

And this is a wonderful problem to have. Really. My heart feels so touched to have such thoughtful people around me. Having company to see The Force Awakens is a fun twist on the “sitting alone, intently staring at the screen, trying to absorb every tiny detail” scenario I’ve had in my head for the last year (no, really, all my thoughts of this movie event had me sitting alone…I just have kinda always been the only Star Wars fan in my crowds…I’m used to it and it doesn’t bother me).

But. There’s a caveat. And I feel bad about it. Really bad. But not bad enough to pretend I feel otherwise. So I’m just going to say it.

I can’t babysit someone during my first viewing of this movie. I just can’t. It’s something I want to be selfish about. I want an amazing experience and if it makes me cry I don’t want to owe anyone an explanation. I don’t want to miss a single second of it to any conversational detritus. My focus is hard come by (“squirrel!”) so when I muster it, I don’t mess around. I want zero distractions and only simpatico reverence surrounding me on December 18, 2015. Just that first time.

Now that I’ve dipped a toe into the pool of friendship betrayal I’ll cannonball right in and simultaneously burn bridges:

There are only 4 people that I have met that I would consider seeing this movie for the first time with. The number one person I would love to see this movie with is my father. To this day I still cry a tiny bit (sometimes happy sometimes sad cry) whenever I watch any Star Wars movie because of the emotions I have connected between his memory and the franchise, but that’s not an option.

The second person, I married, and our mutual love for Star Wars played a very large part in our relationship, but we are no longer together (side note: I do have every intention of going together, as a family, with our three children, to see this movie. However, neither of us is so selfless to see it the very first time with them. A weekend matinee will be just fine. We both know what’s up.)

The third is one of my favorite friends who has been my friend since we were 13. He’s a huge Star Wars fan, the mutual love helped foster our friendship over the last 30 years (holy crap, B! Do you realize just how long we’ve been friends?!?) and his presence would only add to the experience, but he lives 816 miles away so it’s not an option.

The fourth person is a new-ish friend. I’ve known him a little over a year and I can’t think of anyone I would rather sit next to when I see this movie for the first time. His level of fandom is deep and inspiring and he brings an aspect of technical knowledge that I have never, ever been exposed to (we know me, the way to impress me is to teach me, and I’m very impressed!) Through his friendship I have found new ways to love Star Wars that I didn’t know were possible. He makes me a better Star Wars fan, and really? I don’t know anyone that can compete with that!

What’s awesome is that he recently asked me to see the movie with him. And honestly, I was shocked. I believe I said “you could have asked me to marry you and I would have been less shocked.” And I wasn’t exaggerating. It didn’t occur to me to ask to see the movie with him because I assumed he had a similar “red velvet rope” mentality about who he would see the movie with as well. And who knows? Maybe he does and I made the cut. Either way, it made me supremely happy. I’m not going to question it.

Now, I know December is a long little way off, not all friendships can weather the ups and downs that can come and go through the change of seasons, but I’m hopeful, that with our past history as my predictor, that no matter what our friendship status is, come December 17th as the clock ticks to the midnight opening, we will be of similar mind and still want to see Episode VII: The Force Awakens (with its subpar font, according to him 😉) together.

After that viewing, I’ll gladly go see the movie multiple times with multiple people and have zero complaints. Hell, I’ll even eat popcorn. But that first time, it’s special to me, and it’s spoken for. And that makes my heart smile.

12/18/15, I’ve got plans and I’m ok with that 🙂

-F.S.
I feel obligated to share this video. It fits: