So many odd, funny, creepy things happened to me this week that I am quite inspired to write all about it. However, due to my respect of others privacy, I just can’t do that here. So I’ve decided to try something a little different and write the most memorable things that were said to or by me in the last seven days. Things stuck in my head, making noise, and just seeing them makes me laugh or smile. It’s kind of a “had to be there” thing, but many of you were, and for others new to my circle, it should give you insight into how things go in my neck of the Universe.
If you recognize something you said to me or I said to you, please don’t be offended, just be thankful I didn’t recite the story that went along with it. If you DON’T see something you said, step up your game! You aren’t leaving a lasting impression and that’s just not cool.
Proving life is more interesting than fiction, I present you with these sage words from my week:
“The title ‘Her Supreme Assholiness’ fits you perfectly.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t dress up like it was the 80’s!”
“But I did…I dressed this cool back then”
“My mouth tastes like all those bad decisions I made last night”
“Here’s how it is. I don’t give a shit, but I act like I do. You, you give a shit, but you act like you don’t. There’s the problem.”
“I’ll just have one Angry Orchard”
“It’s not that I think you are the Devil, or even the work of the Devil. Not even really a friend of the Devil. It’s more along the lines of this: IF the Devil had a muse, it would be you. Yeah, Inspiring to the Devil, that’s you.”
“I’m a loner, Dottie, a rebel”
“Really though, what sound DOES the fox make??”
“I see you’re in a relationship with Darth Vader. That must be pretty scary for him.”
“It’s not YOU, it’s the world”
“Welcome back to reality, Sweetheart. It sucks here, don’t it?”
“Kurt is singing on the radio right now. Perfect!”
“You just said you “pulled dinner out of my butt”! I’m not eating that!”
“If you ask a man to do something, you don’t have to remind him every five or six months!”
“You’re gaining new stalkers every single day! Don’t you think that’s a bit much???”
“Thou art mortal. I won’t say it again”
“Your voice is kind of Southern. In a dirty, dirty, dirty way”
“I want to punch you right in the face. But in a good way.”
“Just push play. Aerosmith finally got something right. Just hit that button every single day”
“You really are beautiful. I can’t tell you that enough”
“If I knew you were going to be so mean, I wouldn’t have been born”
“I actually believed it. I admired him for his determination, for his facade of intelligence, but now, in hindsight, I see he is weak. Like a little girl with no upper body strength. And quite possibly mentally retarded. Yeah, he might be on the Spectrum. Are we allowed to say “retarded” in that context? I’d hate to offend anyone”
“Because I want to impress you with every damn thing I do. Like a freaking amateur.”
It was a week, for sure.
Slack at it!